On the Road Again

Today was my first run since the Freedom Run 10K last month. Which, while we're on the topic, I finished without dying, I wasn't last, and the sustained injuries only needed a couple of weeks to heal. I finished in an hour, nineteen minutes, and some change. Hardly a "good" time in the running world, but I finished - and 10 minutes faster than I'd even hoped. I ran my little heart out that last .2 mile - and have never been so happy to see a finish line in my entire life.

Unfortunately, around mile 5, I started to get pains that went up the outside of my ankles - tendons, I guess? Walking hurt, stairs were excruciating, and my one attempt at a run after the prescribed 6 day rest period was a flop.

A little more ice, a little more rest, and a good night's sleep inspired me to take advantage of my current surroundings (stuck in Raleigh for the weekend) and hit the trails this morning.

It didn't go nearly as well as I'd hoped. I finished about 2.25 miles, which was all I'd planned to do, but it was far slower and just not a pleasant experience generally. I am not a person who can just hop in where she left off, apparently.

The worst part is that I didn't really feel like a runner - I felt like this fat kid who was in running shoes and a running skirt and trying to trick everyone else on the trail into believe that she's a runner. And failing, miserably. Part of this is the general funk that two weeks of not running puts me in. Part of this is the slow but sure acknowledgment that I am just not a runner. I'm not built like a runner, I don't move like a runner (and there are plenty of race photos to prove this).

And overall, it's just frustrating. After all the months, miles, and yes - money - that I've put into this, I don't feel any better off than I did before I started. I know that this feeling will pass and maybe it's just a matter of a day or week and I'll feel again like I can run this half marathon in EIGHTY NINE DAYS. Yes, you read that correctly.

I am terrified by the knowledge that in just 89 days I'll be running 13.1 miles.

Or run-walking. Whatever.

The only that's keeping me going: "There will be days that I don't think I can run a half marathon. There will be a lifetime knowing I have."